I should imagine that after reading that headline you think I am mad. Win the rugby world cup? Wales?
And I agree with you. Having been there to see us knocked out by both Samoa and Fiji in ’91 and ’07 I can certainly say I am going into this with a lot of trepidation. I shall again be in New Zealand to watch Wales vs Fiji and my gut suggests more pain (but that could just be last night’s curry).
So why have I come up with 5 reasons that Wales will win the rugby world cup? Because I was asked to. Matt over at Green and Gold (an Aussie blog and forum, and probably the best fan rugby site on the planet) suggested that bloggers from all over come up with reasons that their team will win the World Cup. I will be linking to each of the articles at the bottom of this one so you can see why other countries are being positive.
The thing is that, after a long hard think, I couldn’t see any reason we would win the world cup. The main stumbling block in my mind being that there are a number of teams better than us. Mind you that didn’t stop England from reaching the final last time out…
So I over loaded my brain, I asked on the forum and I made stuff up. Which is how I came up with not just 5, but 10 reasons the Welsh will win the Rugby World Cup
5 Reasons Wales Will Win the Rugby World Cup
- We’ve worked out that everyone has worked out our tactics. It may have taken a few years but it seems we could well have more than just the one plan going into a game. This should shock a few teams.
- Talent. I may have said that there are better teams than us but I don’t think that there is a gulf in talent. The likes of Adam Jones, Gethin, Bradley Davies, Warburton, Jamie Roberts and Shane are hugely talented – as are others that I couldn’t be bothered to type out due to my being lazy.
- Give it to Shane. We may have a plan B now (we hope), but if all else fails the ‘give it to Shane’ plan still has a remarkably high success rate.
- Someone opened the fly half factory again. Stephen Jones is a Welsh legend as far as I am concerned, but Hook is starting to look like a 10 again and Priestland took to the international stage with aplomb. Add in youngsters like Tovey and Biggar who couldn’t even make the squad and it seems someone remembered how to make outside halves again.
- Tight 5. The loss of Rees is a big blow, but even without him we will finally have a worthwhile tight 5 on the field. Gethin, Jones, AWJ and Bradley are a match for most teams…and with the impressive Sam Warburton backing them up we could well do some real damage up front…even against physical teams like the Bokkes. Look what Adam was doing to the much vaunted Argentine scrum.
5 More Reasons Wales Will Win the Rugby World Cup
- It is being played in a country that has rugby as a national sport, a lot of rain and a huge amount of sheep. If it wasn’t for the long flight and the mullets some of our players might not even have noticed they left Wales.
- George North! The wikipedia entry may now have been edited by some heathens but we all know that George North! (yes, the exclamation mark is an important part of his name) was created in a volcano and has the power of the Gods. He went back in time to father both Chuck Norris and Shane Williams, and is so strong he could actually spot Andrew Sheridan (who I am reliably informed, by some mad English people, can bench press planets). He could win the RWC by himself, whilst eating a Dorset Naga.
- We’re World ChampionsWe won it at 7s remember? It’s about as relevant as the English win in 03 and they’re still clinging to that, so why can’t we.
- The Kiwis will choke. And so will the Saffers, and the Aussies. The French will implode and the English are as threatening as a balloon in a pin factory.
- Because we’ve got the greatest Haka response in history. No not the awesome standing there one (which you can see here). Instead I have an inside source telling me that we will be doing this one…
Other People’s Views
So what do other teams think will allow them to win the RWC?
Well the other, other Green and Gold (the Springbok version), think that it is because
- Their conservative game plan suits the RWC
- Their game plan suits the weather
- Their 50% RWC winning record counts for something
- Experience (they have amongst the oldest squads – Ireland has THE oldest one btw)
- Their strength in depth coming off the bench
But they forget that they are up against George North! in the pool stages.
They think they will win it because
- They were crap in the Warm Ups. Honestly, that looks like the reasoning.
- They’re the oldest team there (maybe we should buy them a pipe and slippers)
- They were crap last world cup (hang on, is their thinking really “because we’re old and crap”)
- They have Sean O’Brien
- They have a lot of Irish living out there
So to sum up – the Irish think they will win it because they are old and crap!
- X-factor. Simon Cowell is coaching them, or maybe they read Graham Henry’s book by the same name. Or apparently they have some players who can do something with the ball, liking to pretend they are Shane.
- Game plan. Well they say game plan but actually talk about defending well with some good forwards. Seems they want to be English?
- Timing. They are on a good run of form timing wise. Actually got nothing to say to that, it’s a good point.
- Fearless. they’re not scared of any team. They haven’t met George North! Yet though
- They’re the good guys. Until they lose and we hear them complain about how everyone else cheated, we need to change the rules, the drop goals need less points, we should be more like rugby league, etc, etc. Sorry, no team with John o’Neill as a CEO can be called the good guys.
To summarise: they want to be Shane, they want to be English, they want to be the good guys. To be fair though they are actually looking pretty good.
Like us they chose 10 reasons rather than 5, but unlike us I think they were serious.
- Dan Carter. They claim he is the best player in the world. They are wrong, he is 2nd best (providing we don’t allow George North! to count due to being too awesome)
- Richie McCaw. They claim he is 2nd best. They are wrong, he is better than Carter. Though I think I may be supporting their point here.
- They lost to the Aussies. Hang on, isn’t this the same reasoning the Irish came up with? If they claim experience we know they’re just copying
- Eden Park. They win there a lot. Then again they don’t win the in the RWC a lot, let’s see which tradition wins
- It’s at home. See the point above. Couldn’t manage 10 reasons apparently, so cheated and put up a ‘ditto’. Should have expected that from a team that has Richie McCaw at 7.
- Losing. They lost more than they usually do already this season. So another reason based on they are not as good as usual. I get lost with some of this reasoning.
- Experience. There it is, same as the Irish. They’re experienced at failing, so they’re going to win it this time.
- Experience. ANOTHER ditto! They’ve got rid of some blokes who are good and brought in some guys that are good. Interesting logic, but ok.
- Competition for the jersey. Fair enough, they do have impressive strength in depth.
- They’re due a win. If it is done on a rota system shouldn’t Wales be ahead of them?
So the logic? They have some good players, they’re home, and they have lost more than usual. Interesting
They can’t possibly this time can they? They made the final by being crap last time out, they’re presumably trying to emulate that.
- Monstrous scrum. Seriously? It’s pretty good but my money would be on Adam to teach them a lesson here. Again.
- Nous. They point out that they managed to do well with Farrell at 10. So apparently being crap and making the final in 07 is relevant. So to is the World Cup 7s win for us then
- Jonny. Oh come on, the English can’t go 5 minutes without praising St Jonny of Wilkinson, you didn’t think they could manage 5 points without him could they? Actually 5 points might be two more than they will manage to score at once.
- Route to the final. Having been blessed with a very easy group (sorry, Group of Death as their coaches claimed), they think having to ;just’ beat France and the Aussies will be easy. No English arrogance here then.
- Weather. 10 man rugby will suit them apparently. Never mind that they no longer have that good a pack.
All in all it’s what we expected – living off past glories. Same reason they picked their coach presumably!
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Great post, I’ve been clinging to the idea that our one dimensional game plan has been nothing more than a ploy for some time! Please God/Barry John let me be right!
Mike – I think we’ve all been clinging to that idea!
Nick,
As a reply to your excellent summary of the Irish reasons, May I summarize the Welsh reasons?
1. Giving it to Shane won’t work any more, we will bamboozle the world by giving to to George North! instead.
2. Wales have 6 great players, none of which will be on the same field at the same time due to them being injured or not selected.
3. When giving to to George North! fails Wales will revert to the tired old plan of giving it to Shane.
4. They have so many good number 10s they may have to actually HOPE one is injured so they wont feel like they’re wasting one.
5. They have hairier, scarier forwards.
TBH you are probably being a bit too generous to us there… but I’ll take it!
In response solely to reason #10 – here’s an article I wrote for GWL@D back in about 2002. Took me a while to find it. Still think it would work…
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Madness Takes Its Toll
When Richard Cockerill eyed up the All-Blacks during the Haka, the rugby world was outraged. The NZRFU reckoned he lacked respect for tradition; the rest of the world thought him loutish; and here in Wales, as always, we got wound up simply by the mention of his name. In the context of The Game, though, he had a point.
While some would point out that a predominantly caucasian team performing a tribal war-dance is about as traditional as Morris Dancing on Caroline Street, the Haka is nonetheless acknowledged as a potent psychological weapon. When one is advanced upon by 1500-odd kilograms of dribbling maniac chanting about Kamikazes drinking Kia-Ora (or whatever), the urge to reciprocate is the only possible concomitant to the persuasive instinct to flee. What we up north need is a response in kind; a dance which is both aggressive, and supremely silly. Max Boyce’s “Humpity Dumpity” had the latter, but lacked the promise of violence and humiliation. The answer, surely, is The Time Warp?
Picture, if you will, the Haka drawing to a close with its usual flourish. There are cheers, and then a moment’s eerie peace. Then a murmur begins to build. As one, the British Lions team leap in the air, and return to Earth hands-on-hips. Keith Wood screams “It’s joost a joomp to t’e lift!” and the team respond, then all screech “…and then a step to the ri-i-ight!” and away we go, camping it to the max. The dance ends with the captain mincing up to his All-Black counterpart, draping a feather boa over his shoulders and kissing him on both cheeks.
If that doesn’t kick them right in the testosterone, nothing will. The ghost of impending and inevitable slaughter is exorcised and, hopefully, most of the crowd are laughing. Meanwhile, the terrified kiwis – their masculinity, rather than being challenged, having simply been neatly side-stepped – have dashed back to the dugout to stuff Beano annuals down their shorts.
In 2005, the Lions’ Roar could, with a little imagination, be the Cat’s Miaow.
BRILLIANT. The idea of the entire Welsh team doing the Timewarp to some confused looking All Blacks is supremely funny!
Your right about wales being a bit simular to NZ, I think you will have a lot of support over here, I for one will be cheering you on!! However I think it will be a bridge to far….to make it past the 1/4 finals. On the Green and Gold blog you have been copping it sweet, no one there seems to think you will make it past Samoa.
Was Ireland even at the last world cup?